Tuesday, June 21, 2005

What? Did I stutter?

I've read that when a woman tells her man that he's doing something that makes her unhappy and suggests a way to alleviate the issues he believes that she is being helpful, but the man does not see it this way at all. In the man's mind she is nagging. Subsequently he tunes her out, regardless of how astute her observation may be. In Chuck Snyder's books Incompatibility: Still Grounds For A Great Marriage and Men: Some Assembly Required, he says that our only hope is to cross our fingers and pray that some other man will come along and give our man the same advice that we did. Because when this happens our man will be struck by the other man's genius (originally the woman's genius mind you) and possibly even motivated to change.

Personal Example:

My fiance has a fast metabolism. He comes from a long line of tall slender men. He is built exactly like his father who is built exactly like his father. No matter what my fiance eats he remains approximately the same size (except in the summer he looses 10 pounds from the heat). I am very jealous of this trait of his, but that is beside the point.

This seemingly physical perfection does not come without it's price. If he's not careful his blood sugar will drop drastically and, as one friend who has a similar situation stated, he will be "possessed by the demon." He becomes irritable and introverted and often refuses to eat at this point. Argh!

So here's the interesting part. I've been telling him for the three years that we've been dating that this is an issue. Furthermore he knows it's an issue himself. Often times when he is cranky and irritable (which I take personally and feel hurt) he cites hunger as a reason. So he's not oblivious of this correlation, but that doesn't mean he's changed his approach or attitude in anyway.

And then he's tells his dad a story in which "hunger made him act like a jerk" and his dad says, "I knew this guy who was hypoglycemic. Maybe you are too." Now he gets it. Now he thinks, "Maybe I should go to the doctor and get tested. Maybe I should think about changing the way I eat." Grrr! I know I should be happy because he might actually do something about this behavior now, but seriously, I spent three frustrated years trying to beat this logic into his brain.


I'm not entirely convinced that he will do much of anything though. He seems to like to be able to blame his negative traits on "his disorder." First I tell him that he has to get diagnosed by a doctor to have a disorder and second he's gonna have to change his diet. I think he tuned me out already. Maybe his dad will tell him. I can only hope.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Talking to Strangers

Apparently I have a sign that says "Please Talk To Me" on my forehead that only crazy people can read. Ok some sane strangers approach me for directions now and then, but usually it's just the crazy people.

Yesterday I was head down reading my book Blink (which is really interesting and I recommend if you're interested in the power of your subconscious) on the Max on the way to work(our city's electric train system), when this 50 year old guy interrupts me to ask me what I'm reading. I mean seriously...What is this?

I don't speak. I only show him the cover and he proceeds to talk to me about it. I proceed to try and ignore him politely and read my book. Subsequently, I learned that he had supposedly been in the military and suffered a major brain injury which took a year to heal and required extensive plastic surgery to make him look normal again, as well as receiving a bullet to the gut which rendered him in 9 hours of pelvic surgery, during which he experienced a post death experience and boy was he mad when they brought him back.

These events destroyed his chance at making a career out of the military, which was his dream. He also informed me that 95% of the things we do in our lives are dictated by the compulsive subconscious and his sister is living proof of that because she loves to shop and isn't happy unless she's spending money. This behavior puts her house and family at risk.

Honestly, it sounded like a crazy person in disguise repeating a week of Jerry Springer episodes. And this is when I thought, what's a girl to do? I don't want to be rude, but I really just want to read my book.

No offense to my favorite colleagues who frequent this blog from time to time, but this strange phenomena can be seen at work too. For the most part I think I try very hard to focus on my work and mind my own business. It's not that I don't like other people, it's just that I don't mind doing my own thing. This probably comes from being an only child and having to learn how to get along alone.

Anyway, I share a communal space with three men who are trainers so they are often out teaching class, but at the odd chance they are actually at their desks and it happens to be just me and one of them (I don't leave my desk very often except to go to the Lou or to get snacking) they inevitably sigh and embark in drawing me out in conversation.

Why? I don't know. It's got to be painful for them. They all know I tune out the majority of what they say. I forget to respond at all the right parts and often have no idea what they were talking about when they're finished, which I demonstrate by asking an ill timed totally off track question. And yet they continue to attempt.

I don't get it. It's like the more I resist, the more they want to talk to me.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Midlife Crisis

I've heard that we actually have more than one mid life crisis. I think I can identify with that. I'm not even 30 yet and I can look back and see multiple times where I've stopped to rethink my definition of myself and/or my desired path to the future me. Now is another one of those times.

I'm nearing the end of my first year at my first "real" job after college and as I look back I'm wondering, am I happy here? Is this what I expected? Is this the kind of life I want 5 years from now? Is it a stepping stone to that life?

Post graduation I developed this theory that there are two lines of logic to follow when choosing a career path: a)you have certain lifestyle aspirations outside of work and you need a job that will provide the income level required to sustain that lifestyle or b)your work is your life so you choose a job that is exciting and fulfilling and your life outside of work enriches you to do your job (with this choice comes the natural notion that you will choose to live within your means, whatever that may be based on your career).

Granted there are a lot of people who do not think about their life work in this way. They work because that is what adults do. They take the jobs they can get and they buy what they can buy with the money they make from these jobs or the credit cards they get offered in the mail.

Truthfully, I always thought I'd find myself in some combination of both and in many ways I have. Although I'm finding out quickly that I am not happy to stay here in the middle and would prefer to choose one path over the other.

I keep asking myself, "where do I see myself in 5 years?" and for the first time in a long time, I'm not sure. On one hand I see myself in a small mountain town helping my fiance run a pub and on the other hand I see myself getting my five years of experience and moving up in the world of communications, all the while writing on the side and working toward being published, as well as paying of my student loans, saving to buy a house and go on our honeymoon to New Zealand or Fiji.

I think that in either scenario I could be happy and unhappy. Each one has it's limitations and it's freedoms. In many ways it's a matter of choice. In the past I might have thought that one was right and one was wrong, but I'm no longer convinced that life is quite that black and white. Naturally, life will throw it's curve balls, sliders and change ups, which ever choice I make, whether I'm ready for it or not.

A Follow Up

My friend terra sent me this site of fun archaic words in the English language, Luciferous Logolepsy. Peruse at your leisure.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


My friend Gerry and I both like to discover new words. Quite honestly, I like to make my own words up whenever I get a chance, so I was pleased when my friend Stephanie forwarded me the list of words created for the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational.

Apparently they asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. I'm only including the one's I find entertaining. Hope you enjoy!

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Big Nerd

Today my friend Terra and I went to Trade Secret to look at nail polish during our lunch break. She kept tripping over her tongue and saying silly things so I started to laugh and then I let out a big snort. We had to leave because I couldn't stop laughing and she said, “You’re a big dork. You just snorted.” And I paused briefly and realized that she was right and it’s about time that I accepted it.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Mommy...wow! I'm a big kid now!

Um...attention all loyal readers. You may remember my first blog about my hesitancy toward blogging because I was intimidated by the internet and the software. Well...I've come a long way baby! You'll notice in the blog immediately before this one that I successfully managed to add a functional link to the body of the blog that opens in its own window. I'm so proud of myself I'm glowing.

The Dress

So the dress I ordered came in time for my mom and dad to see me try it on while they were here visiting and they hate it. They say it is too plain. I like it. I like that it is plain. It's made of beautiful silk fabric and lays nicely and has a flattering A-line shape, but is not too full or too heavy. It's not too sparkly or lacey. It's not to expensive or cheap. It is right in the middle. And it's comfortable. And it has no train. Yay!

My mom says, "We can work with it." She means accessorize. I wonder, "am I not 'beautiful' enough that I need a sparkly dress to help?" Perhaps. Can't I just wear sparkly shoes? I love sparkly shoes, but not sparkly dresses. Hmmm...

I think my dad will kill me when he finds how much it costs now that he's seen how plain it is. He won't understand about the importance of the fabric. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's not the right dress. Maybe I'm just too afraid to make any kind of statement. Maybe I just need to suck it up and dare myself to wear something with beads and/or lace on it.

But that means I have to go to another dress shop. Yuck! I like it. I really do. But I hate the idea of my parents being disappointed because I am to plain and all my relatives and thinking, "Wow! That dress is so plain." Everyone says you have to find the dress that fits, but I'm not sure that in this case I should take them literally. I'm so confused. My heart shouts, "I love this dress!" and my mind says, "You could be making a huge mistake!" (Ah. The similarities between the dress hunt and the man hunt always amaze me.)

FYI to view the dress click here.